Getting older doesn't bother me. I think that is because the older I get, the happier I am. I told a friend the other day, "I'd rather be happy than young."
I also enjoy birthdays, mine and others. Its a good excuse to celebrate! I like the attention and gifts.
But underlying all of this is a feeling of fragility and vulnerability I experience each year at my birthday. As a hypnotherapist and long time meditation practitioner, I have learned to recognize and appreciate the underlying currents of feeling that run beneath the surface of my outward experience. I know from talking to my Mom that I had a difficult birth and almost died. I was not able to go home from the hospital. I have a damaged nerve in my face from being pulled out with forceps that causes me to have a "crooked" smile. Its not something I think about alot or feel self conscious about, except occasionally when I am being photographed. I have learned to smile "normally" in pictures.
I used to often injury myself in minor ways around my birthday. Or I would experience a sudden very sore neck and upper back ache on the day of my birthday. Fortunately as I have become more aware of the subconscious and bodily memory of my birth, these physical manifestations have ceased.
In the last few years I have begun to practice a meditation I call the "Inner Infant Meditation". We have all been infants, so therefore we all have an inner infant that lives in our subconscious minds. So now at the time of my birthday I make it a practice to nurture myself deeply by going to the hotsprings and doing the following meditation a few times before and on the day of my birthday. I hope you will give it a try on your birthday or anytime!
*Begin by finding a place where you feel very comfortable, safe and relaxed. You may want to cover yourself with a warm, soft blanket or relax in warm water. Hot springs or a hot tub is perfect!
*Make sure you are not hungry or tired or ill. And that you are feeling well.
*Begin to slow your breathing. Rest your hands on your belly and allow your hands to rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale. Let your awareness flow through your body noticing any areas that feel stiff or sore or tense. Notice any areas of your body that may feel numb, disconnected. Also notice where you feel good.
*Breathe into uncomfortable areas (if there are any) gently, softly yet deeply. Feel that your breath is nourishing your body (it is.)
*Let your eyes close and remember a time when you felt very nourished and safe. This time may be in the present or long, long ago. If you can't remember a time where you felt physically safe, than you can imagine one. Or you can jus focus on the feelings of safety and well being you are experiencing now.
*Let this feeling of well being spread through out your whole body. You can see it as a gentl pink glow and/or feel it as warm honey flowing. This feeling of safety and warm well being surround you like a warm cloud.
*Now, let you mind drift back to your earliest memory as an infant. This may be a physical feeling or remember a picture you have seen of yourself as an infant. Hold this infant that is you in your arms. Cross your arms over your chest gently hugging this precious baby to you.
* Tell this inner infant, "You are welcome. I am so glad you are here. I love you. You are perfect just as your are. I am keeping you safe." You may think of other things to say to this inner infant that are welcoming, loving and comforting.
A poem I wrote some time ago expresses the feeling you are conveying to your Inner Infant
You came here from afar,
Created from the
cooling of a
Beautiful distant
star,
Carried on the
breath
Of a butterflies
beating wing
I am so happy you
are here!
To learn and love
and enjoy
Each and every thing,
May your footsteps
find their way
Through tall green
grass
And over steep and rocky
paths
Climbing high
And swimming low
Finding wonder
wherever you go
I welcome you to
this place!
And am so happy to see
your wonderful face.
*Once
you have welcomed the infant you and helped the inner infant feel calm,
accepted and safe, you can visualize and feel this inner infant coming
into your heart where this precious being can continue to feel safe and
loved
*Continue
breathing softly and gently and slowly open your eyes coming back to
the present moment. Look around you. Colors may shine with new
vividness, you may feel very relaxed and peaceful. You may feel safer
and more connected to the world around you.
*Carry on your day making sure to attend very closely to physical needs.
This year I felt the comfort of the earth, the mountains and stars welcoming me into this life. I think I was able to feel that because of the Inner Infant meditation.
Peace,
Sue Schmidt CMT,C.Ht
www.healingmediations.net
www.facebook.com/healingmeditations1
healingmeditations1@gmail.com
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