Creating Authentic Self Esteem Step 4: Right Action

Hi All,
I hope you have been enjoying the series on self esteem. I have enjoyed writing it!
So far I have been discussing how to build self esteem internally. Internal self esteem, or self love, is absolutely essential. A person can be endlessly successful in an outer sense, but without inner self love and appreciation, any outer success feels hollow and incomplete.
That being said, internal self esteem is only part of the picture. We all need to develop and grow in tangible ways that we can measure and see. We all need to find a way to contribute and express our inner values and gifts.
So in this post we are going to discuss on how to build to self esteem through Right Action.

Here's How:

1. Help Someone Else:
Human beings are social animals. We get a powerful hit of dopamine (a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward) when we help another person. Lending a helping hand can be as simple as letting a driver into the flow of traffic in rush hour. Volunteer possibilities are endless and varied.  You can help a co worker without any though of gain and recognition. There are always opportunities to help the young or elderly in every community. In any conversation or relationship, notice and be mindful of  the myriad ways you can be kind. This is helping! Often not doing is helping. Just listening to a friend or loved one without  judgement is helping.

Of course, there is a shadow side to helping. Some of us can help too much in order to feel good about ourselves.  If you have taken the time to develop an inner structure of self love this is less likely to happen. Some signals that you may be helping too much are:
-you feel anxious or uneasy when you are thinking about or actually helping someone
-you don't feel happy after helping, but rather may feel angry, resentful or depressed
-you begin to expect something in return
- the person you are trying to help doesn't begins to express resentment or concern or may find that your "help" is intrusive
So remember that your peace of mind and well being comes first. And then help as much as you can!

2. Work Toward Meaningful Goals: 
We all need tangible goals to work toward and achieve. I recommend that everyone have personal goals. Examples of personal goals are losing weight, exercising, learning something new, developing a skill or talent that feels natural and easy for you. 
 It is very important to really want to achieve any goal you choose to pursue. This may seem obvious, but in my hypnotherapy practice, I often see people who want to pursue a goal that they feel like they should want to accomplish,  but really don't want very much in a deeply personal way.
 A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all, and 10 being the most important thing in my life, what number is my goal. " Close your eyes and relax. Allow a number to appear or a number will just come to you. I would say that a personal goal should at least get a 6 in order to be worth pursuing.
Start out with a general goal and then break it into small steps. Make the first steps very easy. For instance, if your goal is to lose weight. Ask yourself if there is on thing that you could change, that would help you achieve your goal, that is easy for you to do. For instance, I found it very easy not to eat after 8pm and this has helped me  lose a few pounds. I also switched from whole milk to 2% and that also has made a difference. Start small, but hold your big goal in minds eye. Draw your goal. Talk about it with others. Write about it . Put sticky notes on your frig, on your computer, in your car to keep your goal in the front of your consciousness.
Most importantly align your goals with your inner most nature and subconscious mind. It is very possible for the conscious mind and sub conscious mind to have very different agendas! The subconscious usually wins. For example, the conscious mind wants to lose weight but the sub conscious wants to eat cake! Hypnotherapy can help the subconscious mind get on board with your conscious mind and this is a huge advantage. Will power rarely works forever and takes alot of energy. Or through the process of hypnosis, you may discover that your goal doesn't reflect your true nature. and it can be discarded or modified.

Most importantly, know that altho you are learning and growing, improving and working toward goals, you are perfect  just as you are, every step of the way

3. Find Your Life Purpose: 
This has always sounded like a very daunting phrase to me. But really, your life purpose is to do what you love to do. Everyone has something that they do that makes them feel good, optimistic, fulfilled and proud. Recognize that thing and do it as much as you can.
If you have a natural gift or talent then develop it  by taking classes, studying and practicing.It sometimes take a long time to be able to express and know our life purpose, but know that it is there and that you will find it.  In my younger years I flitted from job to job making enough money  just to survive, knowing that what I was doing wasn't using my gifts and talents fully.
 But...during that time I began a meditation practice, healed old wounds, explored the world, and read books on a spirituality, meditation and healing.I noticed that I was always interested in any subject having to do with spirituality, healing and self development. This are of pursuit never bored me and always made me feel good. I kept nourishing this aspect of my life as much as I could.
Now, in my late fifties, I have come home, and have the wonderful opportunity to help others heal every day.
Your life purpose may never become your work and that is fine. Or you life purpose may be your work. It  is different for everyone.
Its really very simple. Whatever you consistently love is what you were meant to do whether that makes you money or not.

Every day is an opportunity for Right Action.
Right Action is living consciously in a way that feels good to you. By feeling good I don't mean indulgence. If you like ice cream sundaes or even love them, you certainly won't feel good if you eat them all day.

 I am talking about the pursuit that  creates a warm feeling in your stomach,  an  expansion in your chest, that lifts your shoulders and straightens your spine with strength and confidence. This is  what Right Action feels like! As you become happier, stronger, and  more able to  contribute your unique gifts, it helps the world and everyone in it. And as you express your true nature in whatever form(s) arise, your self esteem will grow and become deep and abiding.

Be Well and Practice Right Action,
Sue
www.healingmeditations.net
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We will finish the series on Self Esteem with the next post: Use your Own Yardstick

Happy Summer Solstice!!

 Deborah Byrd in Astronomy Essential
www.earthsky.org

Summer Solstice today! The summer solstice is longest day of the year. Traditionally, many westerners believe the Solstice is the beginning of Summer. From a Chi Kung perspective the Solstice is the height or middle of summer. Summer actually started six weeks ago on May 6.
From a 5 Element perspective, summer expresses the Fire Element. The attributes of Fire are:
Joy
Passion
Creativity

Too much Fire element can be expressed as anxiety and difficulty sleeping.
Too little Fire can be expressed as lethargy and fatigue.

Keep your Fire Element healthy by doing something every day that you LOVE doing! Also get enough rest, exercise and eat cooling foods like watermelon, fruit and drink lots of water. 

Enjoy!
Sue Schmidt
www.healingmeditations.net

Super Super Full Moon June 23: Moon in Capricorn

The  Full moon falls on June 23, 2013 at 11:32 UTC (6:32 a.m. CDT in the U.S.). Thus, for many, the moon appears about as full in the June 22 evening sky as it does on the evening of June 23. 

This full moon is not only the closest and largest full moon of the year. It also presents the moon’s closest encounter with Earth for all of 2013!!

 Last month’s full moon – May 24-25, 2013 – was also a supermoon. But the June full moon is even more super! In other words, the time of full moon falls even closer to the time of perigee, the moon’s closest point to Earth.  
www.earthsky.org

This full moon falls under the sign Capricorn. The Moon in Capricorn favors the following activities: Long-term activities that yield slow but steady results, practical undertakings, career issues, making a business plan, practical investments.
www.astrologycafe.com


Names for this Moon: 
US: Strawberry Moon
 Europe: Rose Moon
Choctaw Indian Name: Peach Moon

Spiritual Significance of the Full Moon: Magic, Dreams, Increased Psychic Abilities,Manifestation. Invitation to feel the magic of our desires and connection to the heavens and earth.

Chi Kung:  Let the moonlight shine in your eyes. Its good for your Pineal gland especially for women. Most of all ENJOY!

www.healingmeditations.net

Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step 3 Past Worthiness

 Past Worthiness is the practice of reflecting upon and directly experiencing all of our past accomplishments, obstacles overcome and moments of deep  appreciation.

In the last post, June 10 2013, I talked about the fact that focusing and remembering the negative is how our  brains are hard wired and how this gave primitive man an evolutionary advantage. The same negative bias

 is true for  remembering past accomplishments. It did not matter to primitive man that he managed to find food for himself and his family yesterday, he needed to find it today! The food from yesterday had already been consumed. It was more important for primitive man to remember his past mistakes, because mistakes often meant death, than it was to remember the good times. 

 As present day human beings,  we tend to always be chasing the next carrot-the next award, promotion, the next feel good experience instead of appreciating on a regular basis our past accomplishments. I once was counseling a depressed client, who was feeling very unworthy and  pointed out to her that she could possibly feel good about herself as a mother. She had raised two beautiful, accomplished children who were now young adults out in the world and doing well. She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes and said, "But that doesn't count. Its over now. " What a loss of an opportunity to feel good! 

To feed ourselves a steady diet of feel good dopamine, the neurotransmitter related to award and pleasure,  it is necessary to consciously make a practice of remembering our past moments of worthiness. But remembering for most is just kind of a vague, mental exercise. How do we viscerally experience our feel good memories?

Here's how: 

*Find a place where you feel comfortable, and safe. A place that is quiet and where won't be disturbed for 5-10 minutes.

* Sit in a comfortable chair or lay down. Rest your hands on your belly and  feel your belly rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale. If you are not a natural belly breather, that is fine. You can just begin practice this kind of breathing. You want to actually feel your hands rise a little on the inhale and fall a little on the exhaled. You are just breathing a little deeper than usual

*You can begin to count the breath making the exhale one count longer than the exhale e.g., Inhale counting 1....2....3....4....exhale counting 1....2.....3....4....5. You can use any count you are comfortable with. The slower the better. 

*Once you began to feel a little more relaxed, begin to breathe into your physical heart on the left side of your chest as if your heart had a nose. Put your mind in your heart. Do this for a minute or two. 

*Then, Consciously remember an event in your past that your are proud of-an award, a promotion, a project completed, a relationship mended, a beautiful day in which you felt present and alive (probably the best accomplishment of all!)

*As you remember this time of worthiness,  continue consciously breathing into your heat. See the event unfolding in your minds eye. See the time of day, the season, who you were with, the weather, make it as real as possible. Remember how old you were, how your body felt, what you were wearing. 

* As you practice this, your body will begin to respond. You may feel a warmth in your heart, a tingling, a relaxation, an expansion in your chest. Any pleasant physical  feeling is a signal that you are really taking the experience in. 

* Let these pleasant bodily sensations expand throughout your whole body.

*If your mind wanders, thats fine, just keep coming back to your memory. 

*You may stay with one memory or many memories of past worthiness may arise.  You may experience memories from long ago. You may remember learning to tie your shoes, or getting your drivers license, or passing a test. Or remembering just taking  a deep breath taken on a beautiful day. 

*Finally, just breathe and let mental activity go. Just perceive  your body and breathing and just be with yourself. 

*Come back to the present by opening your eyes. and wiggling your fingers and toes. Get up and notice your environment. Colors may seem brighter, your mood  lighter, and you may feel more calm and relaxed. 

This is a good practice to do every week or so. Or more often if you are feeling down. In this way, we can begin to train ourselves to appreciate our past worthiness. And as we do this we will build a foundation of positive feelings that carry over into our present lives so that we can create more and more positive, self affirming  memories. So at the end of our lives, we can look back with a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and joy!

Note: It is important to note that if you have experienced serious abuse or trauma it can be difficult  or uncomfortable to remember the past and guide your mind to positive events. If that is the case, learn to do this with the help of a Certified Hypnotherapist. 

Be Well and Remember Good Things About You, 

Sue Schmidt, Certified Hypnotherapist
Lousiville, CO

www.healingmeditations.net

healingmeditations1@gmail.com

Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step 2- Present Moment Worthiness

Present Moment Worthiness is the practice of acknowledging, celebrating and honoring the things we do everyday that are life affirming for ourselves and others. 

Normally, we experience a boost in  self esteem when we receive an award, a promotion, fall in love or accomplish anything “big”.  All though these big moments are wonderful, for most of us, they are few and far between. Most of our lives are made up of many small moments. When we receive a big reward, dopamine, a neurotransmitter that signals pleasure and reward, floods our body  and we feel very good! Then, as the event ends there may be  flat feeling as dopamine  leaves our bodies. We’ve all experienced the dopamine high of accomplishing something big,   but  sooner or later,  we are doing the laundry, taking the kids to school and driving to the office. There is more work ahead and once again we are just with ourselves in our life as it is.

So how do we keep a keep a steady stream of feel good dopamine flowing? We do this by creating a practice of acknowledging ourselves as worthwhile, good and fulfilled each and every day. 

Unfortunately, we may have a physiological bias against doing this. Primitive man evolved to pay attention to, and remember ,negative experiences more than positive ones. This bias toward negativity had an evolutionary advantage. Primitive man could afford to ignore  a beautiful sunset and perhaps live another day. But ignore the snap of a twig in the jungle signaling the approach of a predator and he may never get to pass on his genes. So in a very real way we are hard wired to remember our failures more than our successes. Thats why our successes need to be BIG to penetrate our conscious awareness. Rick Hanson, author of “Buddha’s Brain” says, “ In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. That shades “implicit memory” – your underlying expectations, beliefs, action strategies, and mood – in an increasingly negative direction.”

So we need to make a conscious decision to see the good in ourselves reflected in our everyday actions and accomplishments.

Here’s How:
1. Journal: At the end of the day, before sleep, write down all the things that went well that day. Some examples could be:- I exercised and enjoyed it
-I was kind to a co worker.- I learned something new- I got to work on time- I fixed something-I enjoyed my drive to work-I was patient with my kids at least once today.The list could be and is endless. Reviewing this list before bed will help you  fall asleep and have positive dreams. 

2. Take in compliments.  When a co worker tells you you  look nice, take in a deep breath and really take it in. When you receive any kind of positive feedback don’t push it away. Drink it in.  Breathe and allow yourself to feel this positive feedback.  Many of us were taught at a very young age to push away positive feedback and feel uncomfortable with compliments. We were taught that it wasn’t good to think  well of ourselves. The underlying subconscious belief transmitted  is that if we are satisfied with who we are and what we do, we’ll become lazy or egotistical. In fact, the opposite is true. People work harder and better when the feel good about themselves.

3. Be Mindful: As you move through your day, notice the things you do well and mentally compliment yourself. You can put up sticky notes, or stickers, or a computer screen saver that says “Appreciate!” and take a moment to really appreciate yourself. Tell yourself positive things. Most of us will automatically focus and analyze endlessly all the things we should have done, or should have  done better, or all the ways we fell short. It is good to briefly acknowledge our weaknesses and create strategies to  improve and learn. But once we do that, we need to  tell ourselves at least 5 things that we did well or even just enjoyed. We can focus less on what we do, and more on how we have managed to be happy and have a good attitude. We can feel good about ourselves for noticing beauty. We can  even compliment ourselves for trying to find good things about ourselves!

The highest accomplishment any of us can hope for is to be a happy. This happiness spreads effortlessly outward to anyone we come into contact with like the ripples in a pond. And happiness, like any emotion is contagious. As we see the good in ourselves, we see the good in others. We become less judgmental,  more positive and our light spreads out into the world. As we feel “good enough” so do the people around us. And the pain, aggression and judgement that exists in our world  becomes lighter and more infused with love.

Try this: For one day, make a commitment to only say good things about you , to you in your own mind. See how you feel and let me know!

Warmly, 
Sue Schmidt C.Ht, CMT

www.healingmeditations.netwww.facebook.com/healingmeditations1healingmeditations1@gmail.com

Sue Schmidt, Meditations for Relaxation and Healing
Louisville, Co

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Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step1 Unconditional Love-Connect to Spirit

In the last blog, May 25, I talked about 2 ways to create unconditional love for self
1. Inner Child Work
2. Connect to Spirit
I talked about how to do inner child and described a brief meditation.

Today is Connect to Spirit!
The belief that there is something "out there" that is bigger than ourselves is very helpful for creating an environment for unconditional love. This belief and experience can be anything that is meaningful for the individual--religion, angels, spirit guides, nature, an indescribable force, energy.....The list is pretty much endless.  I had a client who felt that the laws of physics were his comfort, and his belief in something greater than his small self.
Personally,  I connect to the energy of all through the practice of Chi Kung and the angelic realm. When I practice Chi Kung I can feel the energy in my body, my spiritual body and the energy that constantly flows into us from the universe. The air we breathe, the food we eat, the water we drink, the activities we engage in, the relationships we have, all feed us on an energetic level. I experience myself as a part of the web of life. Trees "breathe" out oxygen which humans breathe in, we breathe out CO2 which trees breathe in. My experience of Chi Kung is that I'm a part of the web no better, no worse, than any part of nature. This gives me a balanced feeling of self love and therefore self esteem. I am "good" just as any tree is "good" or a rock, or the water. I exist as part of this ever changing flow of energy.
I also connect to the Angelic Realm often. I ask angels for help every day. I do not see angels as having halos and wings and do not think they live in Heaven. I experience them as beings of energy and light who live in a dimension which touches upon the human realm but is not part of it. I find that the love, support, healing and energy I feel from the angels helps me to know that I am loved, worthwhile, precious and whole.

In the end, it doesn't matter at all what you experience as being greater than yourself. It is important that you have a belief or experience in which you feel loved unconditionally. This love  has nothing to do with what you look like or do, how successful or unsuccessful you are,  or if you are having a good day or a bad one.
It is also important that this belief, concept and/or experience be constant and unwavering. We are always surrounded by the energy of the universe. Angelic love is always there. It is our ability to tune into it that wavers.

So to begin..define for yourself what it is you believe in that creates an unconditional self love. Then, connect to it!The first step in connecting is to relax the bodymind. Then ask to connect. This is a very important step that we often forget.

We also need a way to raise our vibration to transcend our every day worries, fears etc. In a sense, we need to get out of our own way to experience the love and energy that is constantly unfolding. A great way to do this is through a guided meditation where the brain wave frequencies can help us move into a relaxed, altered  state.
Raise Your Vibration Guided Meditation

• Theta and Delta Brain Wave Frequencies
• Raises and Strengthen Your  Energy Field
• Resonate with Spiritual Energy
• Connect  to the Angelic  Realm
• Encourages deep, restful  sleep
• Designed to be listened to in bed as you are falling asleep
• Length: 32 min.

Please feel free to share the way YOU connect to Spirit. Your way may help someone else! All paths Connect to Spirit.

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