Creating Authentic Self Esteem Step 4: Right Action

Hi All,
I hope you have been enjoying the series on self esteem. I have enjoyed writing it!
So far I have been discussing how to build self esteem internally. Internal self esteem, or self love, is absolutely essential. A person can be endlessly successful in an outer sense, but without inner self love and appreciation, any outer success feels hollow and incomplete.
That being said, internal self esteem is only part of the picture. We all need to develop and grow in tangible ways that we can measure and see. We all need to find a way to contribute and express our inner values and gifts.
So in this post we are going to discuss on how to build to self esteem through Right Action.

Here's How:

1. Help Someone Else:
Human beings are social animals. We get a powerful hit of dopamine (a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward) when we help another person. Lending a helping hand can be as simple as letting a driver into the flow of traffic in rush hour. Volunteer possibilities are endless and varied.  You can help a co worker without any though of gain and recognition. There are always opportunities to help the young or elderly in every community. In any conversation or relationship, notice and be mindful of  the myriad ways you can be kind. This is helping! Often not doing is helping. Just listening to a friend or loved one without  judgement is helping.

Of course, there is a shadow side to helping. Some of us can help too much in order to feel good about ourselves.  If you have taken the time to develop an inner structure of self love this is less likely to happen. Some signals that you may be helping too much are:
-you feel anxious or uneasy when you are thinking about or actually helping someone
-you don't feel happy after helping, but rather may feel angry, resentful or depressed
-you begin to expect something in return
- the person you are trying to help doesn't begins to express resentment or concern or may find that your "help" is intrusive
So remember that your peace of mind and well being comes first. And then help as much as you can!

2. Work Toward Meaningful Goals: 
We all need tangible goals to work toward and achieve. I recommend that everyone have personal goals. Examples of personal goals are losing weight, exercising, learning something new, developing a skill or talent that feels natural and easy for you. 
 It is very important to really want to achieve any goal you choose to pursue. This may seem obvious, but in my hypnotherapy practice, I often see people who want to pursue a goal that they feel like they should want to accomplish,  but really don't want very much in a deeply personal way.
 A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all, and 10 being the most important thing in my life, what number is my goal. " Close your eyes and relax. Allow a number to appear or a number will just come to you. I would say that a personal goal should at least get a 6 in order to be worth pursuing.
Start out with a general goal and then break it into small steps. Make the first steps very easy. For instance, if your goal is to lose weight. Ask yourself if there is on thing that you could change, that would help you achieve your goal, that is easy for you to do. For instance, I found it very easy not to eat after 8pm and this has helped me  lose a few pounds. I also switched from whole milk to 2% and that also has made a difference. Start small, but hold your big goal in minds eye. Draw your goal. Talk about it with others. Write about it . Put sticky notes on your frig, on your computer, in your car to keep your goal in the front of your consciousness.
Most importantly align your goals with your inner most nature and subconscious mind. It is very possible for the conscious mind and sub conscious mind to have very different agendas! The subconscious usually wins. For example, the conscious mind wants to lose weight but the sub conscious wants to eat cake! Hypnotherapy can help the subconscious mind get on board with your conscious mind and this is a huge advantage. Will power rarely works forever and takes alot of energy. Or through the process of hypnosis, you may discover that your goal doesn't reflect your true nature. and it can be discarded or modified.

Most importantly, know that altho you are learning and growing, improving and working toward goals, you are perfect  just as you are, every step of the way

3. Find Your Life Purpose: 
This has always sounded like a very daunting phrase to me. But really, your life purpose is to do what you love to do. Everyone has something that they do that makes them feel good, optimistic, fulfilled and proud. Recognize that thing and do it as much as you can.
If you have a natural gift or talent then develop it  by taking classes, studying and practicing.It sometimes take a long time to be able to express and know our life purpose, but know that it is there and that you will find it.  In my younger years I flitted from job to job making enough money  just to survive, knowing that what I was doing wasn't using my gifts and talents fully.
 But...during that time I began a meditation practice, healed old wounds, explored the world, and read books on a spirituality, meditation and healing.I noticed that I was always interested in any subject having to do with spirituality, healing and self development. This are of pursuit never bored me and always made me feel good. I kept nourishing this aspect of my life as much as I could.
Now, in my late fifties, I have come home, and have the wonderful opportunity to help others heal every day.
Your life purpose may never become your work and that is fine. Or you life purpose may be your work. It  is different for everyone.
Its really very simple. Whatever you consistently love is what you were meant to do whether that makes you money or not.

Every day is an opportunity for Right Action.
Right Action is living consciously in a way that feels good to you. By feeling good I don't mean indulgence. If you like ice cream sundaes or even love them, you certainly won't feel good if you eat them all day.

 I am talking about the pursuit that  creates a warm feeling in your stomach,  an  expansion in your chest, that lifts your shoulders and straightens your spine with strength and confidence. This is  what Right Action feels like! As you become happier, stronger, and  more able to  contribute your unique gifts, it helps the world and everyone in it. And as you express your true nature in whatever form(s) arise, your self esteem will grow and become deep and abiding.

Be Well and Practice Right Action,
Sue
www.healingmeditations.net
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We will finish the series on Self Esteem with the next post: Use your Own Yardstick