Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step 3 Past Worthiness

 Past Worthiness is the practice of reflecting upon and directly experiencing all of our past accomplishments, obstacles overcome and moments of deep  appreciation.

In the last post, June 10 2013, I talked about the fact that focusing and remembering the negative is how our  brains are hard wired and how this gave primitive man an evolutionary advantage. The same negative bias

 is true for  remembering past accomplishments. It did not matter to primitive man that he managed to find food for himself and his family yesterday, he needed to find it today! The food from yesterday had already been consumed. It was more important for primitive man to remember his past mistakes, because mistakes often meant death, than it was to remember the good times. 

 As present day human beings,  we tend to always be chasing the next carrot-the next award, promotion, the next feel good experience instead of appreciating on a regular basis our past accomplishments. I once was counseling a depressed client, who was feeling very unworthy and  pointed out to her that she could possibly feel good about herself as a mother. She had raised two beautiful, accomplished children who were now young adults out in the world and doing well. She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes and said, "But that doesn't count. Its over now. " What a loss of an opportunity to feel good! 

To feed ourselves a steady diet of feel good dopamine, the neurotransmitter related to award and pleasure,  it is necessary to consciously make a practice of remembering our past moments of worthiness. But remembering for most is just kind of a vague, mental exercise. How do we viscerally experience our feel good memories?

Here's how: 

*Find a place where you feel comfortable, and safe. A place that is quiet and where won't be disturbed for 5-10 minutes.

* Sit in a comfortable chair or lay down. Rest your hands on your belly and  feel your belly rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale. If you are not a natural belly breather, that is fine. You can just begin practice this kind of breathing. You want to actually feel your hands rise a little on the inhale and fall a little on the exhaled. You are just breathing a little deeper than usual

*You can begin to count the breath making the exhale one count longer than the exhale e.g., Inhale counting 1....2....3....4....exhale counting 1....2.....3....4....5. You can use any count you are comfortable with. The slower the better. 

*Once you began to feel a little more relaxed, begin to breathe into your physical heart on the left side of your chest as if your heart had a nose. Put your mind in your heart. Do this for a minute or two. 

*Then, Consciously remember an event in your past that your are proud of-an award, a promotion, a project completed, a relationship mended, a beautiful day in which you felt present and alive (probably the best accomplishment of all!)

*As you remember this time of worthiness,  continue consciously breathing into your heat. See the event unfolding in your minds eye. See the time of day, the season, who you were with, the weather, make it as real as possible. Remember how old you were, how your body felt, what you were wearing. 

* As you practice this, your body will begin to respond. You may feel a warmth in your heart, a tingling, a relaxation, an expansion in your chest. Any pleasant physical  feeling is a signal that you are really taking the experience in. 

* Let these pleasant bodily sensations expand throughout your whole body.

*If your mind wanders, thats fine, just keep coming back to your memory. 

*You may stay with one memory or many memories of past worthiness may arise.  You may experience memories from long ago. You may remember learning to tie your shoes, or getting your drivers license, or passing a test. Or remembering just taking  a deep breath taken on a beautiful day. 

*Finally, just breathe and let mental activity go. Just perceive  your body and breathing and just be with yourself. 

*Come back to the present by opening your eyes. and wiggling your fingers and toes. Get up and notice your environment. Colors may seem brighter, your mood  lighter, and you may feel more calm and relaxed. 

This is a good practice to do every week or so. Or more often if you are feeling down. In this way, we can begin to train ourselves to appreciate our past worthiness. And as we do this we will build a foundation of positive feelings that carry over into our present lives so that we can create more and more positive, self affirming  memories. So at the end of our lives, we can look back with a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and joy!

Note: It is important to note that if you have experienced serious abuse or trauma it can be difficult  or uncomfortable to remember the past and guide your mind to positive events. If that is the case, learn to do this with the help of a Certified Hypnotherapist. 

Be Well and Remember Good Things About You, 

Sue Schmidt, Certified Hypnotherapist
Lousiville, CO

www.healingmeditations.net

healingmeditations1@gmail.com

Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step 2- Present Moment Worthiness

Present Moment Worthiness is the practice of acknowledging, celebrating and honoring the things we do everyday that are life affirming for ourselves and others. 

Normally, we experience a boost in  self esteem when we receive an award, a promotion, fall in love or accomplish anything “big”.  All though these big moments are wonderful, for most of us, they are few and far between. Most of our lives are made up of many small moments. When we receive a big reward, dopamine, a neurotransmitter that signals pleasure and reward, floods our body  and we feel very good! Then, as the event ends there may be  flat feeling as dopamine  leaves our bodies. We’ve all experienced the dopamine high of accomplishing something big,   but  sooner or later,  we are doing the laundry, taking the kids to school and driving to the office. There is more work ahead and once again we are just with ourselves in our life as it is.

So how do we keep a keep a steady stream of feel good dopamine flowing? We do this by creating a practice of acknowledging ourselves as worthwhile, good and fulfilled each and every day. 

Unfortunately, we may have a physiological bias against doing this. Primitive man evolved to pay attention to, and remember ,negative experiences more than positive ones. This bias toward negativity had an evolutionary advantage. Primitive man could afford to ignore  a beautiful sunset and perhaps live another day. But ignore the snap of a twig in the jungle signaling the approach of a predator and he may never get to pass on his genes. So in a very real way we are hard wired to remember our failures more than our successes. Thats why our successes need to be BIG to penetrate our conscious awareness. Rick Hanson, author of “Buddha’s Brain” says, “ In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. That shades “implicit memory” – your underlying expectations, beliefs, action strategies, and mood – in an increasingly negative direction.”

So we need to make a conscious decision to see the good in ourselves reflected in our everyday actions and accomplishments.

Here’s How:
1. Journal: At the end of the day, before sleep, write down all the things that went well that day. Some examples could be:- I exercised and enjoyed it
-I was kind to a co worker.- I learned something new- I got to work on time- I fixed something-I enjoyed my drive to work-I was patient with my kids at least once today.The list could be and is endless. Reviewing this list before bed will help you  fall asleep and have positive dreams. 

2. Take in compliments.  When a co worker tells you you  look nice, take in a deep breath and really take it in. When you receive any kind of positive feedback don’t push it away. Drink it in.  Breathe and allow yourself to feel this positive feedback.  Many of us were taught at a very young age to push away positive feedback and feel uncomfortable with compliments. We were taught that it wasn’t good to think  well of ourselves. The underlying subconscious belief transmitted  is that if we are satisfied with who we are and what we do, we’ll become lazy or egotistical. In fact, the opposite is true. People work harder and better when the feel good about themselves.

3. Be Mindful: As you move through your day, notice the things you do well and mentally compliment yourself. You can put up sticky notes, or stickers, or a computer screen saver that says “Appreciate!” and take a moment to really appreciate yourself. Tell yourself positive things. Most of us will automatically focus and analyze endlessly all the things we should have done, or should have  done better, or all the ways we fell short. It is good to briefly acknowledge our weaknesses and create strategies to  improve and learn. But once we do that, we need to  tell ourselves at least 5 things that we did well or even just enjoyed. We can focus less on what we do, and more on how we have managed to be happy and have a good attitude. We can feel good about ourselves for noticing beauty. We can  even compliment ourselves for trying to find good things about ourselves!

The highest accomplishment any of us can hope for is to be a happy. This happiness spreads effortlessly outward to anyone we come into contact with like the ripples in a pond. And happiness, like any emotion is contagious. As we see the good in ourselves, we see the good in others. We become less judgmental,  more positive and our light spreads out into the world. As we feel “good enough” so do the people around us. And the pain, aggression and judgement that exists in our world  becomes lighter and more infused with love.

Try this: For one day, make a commitment to only say good things about you , to you in your own mind. See how you feel and let me know!

Warmly, 
Sue Schmidt C.Ht, CMT

www.healingmeditations.netwww.facebook.com/healingmeditations1healingmeditations1@gmail.com

Sue Schmidt, Meditations for Relaxation and Healing
Louisville, Co

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Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step1 Unconditional Love-Connect to Spirit

In the last blog, May 25, I talked about 2 ways to create unconditional love for self
1. Inner Child Work
2. Connect to Spirit
I talked about how to do inner child and described a brief meditation.

Today is Connect to Spirit!
The belief that there is something "out there" that is bigger than ourselves is very helpful for creating an environment for unconditional love. This belief and experience can be anything that is meaningful for the individual--religion, angels, spirit guides, nature, an indescribable force, energy.....The list is pretty much endless.  I had a client who felt that the laws of physics were his comfort, and his belief in something greater than his small self.
Personally,  I connect to the energy of all through the practice of Chi Kung and the angelic realm. When I practice Chi Kung I can feel the energy in my body, my spiritual body and the energy that constantly flows into us from the universe. The air we breathe, the food we eat, the water we drink, the activities we engage in, the relationships we have, all feed us on an energetic level. I experience myself as a part of the web of life. Trees "breathe" out oxygen which humans breathe in, we breathe out CO2 which trees breathe in. My experience of Chi Kung is that I'm a part of the web no better, no worse, than any part of nature. This gives me a balanced feeling of self love and therefore self esteem. I am "good" just as any tree is "good" or a rock, or the water. I exist as part of this ever changing flow of energy.
I also connect to the Angelic Realm often. I ask angels for help every day. I do not see angels as having halos and wings and do not think they live in Heaven. I experience them as beings of energy and light who live in a dimension which touches upon the human realm but is not part of it. I find that the love, support, healing and energy I feel from the angels helps me to know that I am loved, worthwhile, precious and whole.

In the end, it doesn't matter at all what you experience as being greater than yourself. It is important that you have a belief or experience in which you feel loved unconditionally. This love  has nothing to do with what you look like or do, how successful or unsuccessful you are,  or if you are having a good day or a bad one.
It is also important that this belief, concept and/or experience be constant and unwavering. We are always surrounded by the energy of the universe. Angelic love is always there. It is our ability to tune into it that wavers.

So to begin..define for yourself what it is you believe in that creates an unconditional self love. Then, connect to it!The first step in connecting is to relax the bodymind. Then ask to connect. This is a very important step that we often forget.

We also need a way to raise our vibration to transcend our every day worries, fears etc. In a sense, we need to get out of our own way to experience the love and energy that is constantly unfolding. A great way to do this is through a guided meditation where the brain wave frequencies can help us move into a relaxed, altered  state.
Raise Your Vibration Guided Meditation

• Theta and Delta Brain Wave Frequencies
• Raises and Strengthen Your  Energy Field
• Resonate with Spiritual Energy
• Connect  to the Angelic  Realm
• Encourages deep, restful  sleep
• Designed to be listened to in bed as you are falling asleep
• Length: 32 min.

Please feel free to share the way YOU connect to Spirit. Your way may help someone else! All paths Connect to Spirit.

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Creating Authentic Self Esteem: Step 1 Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love  
The first moment a baby opens her eyes and gazes into her mother’s eyes unconditional self love begins. When the infant is comforted when upset, fed when hungry, held and rocked the infant learns on a pre verbal level that she is worthy. As the baby learns and grows, she begins to push the envelope of moving away from Mom/ Dad. She runs across the room but looks back over her shoulder, “Are they still there? “ Yes they are and they are smiling!

As the child matures this envelope gets bigger and bigger but yet home base is still there. In this way, a secure attachment is formed that encourages, confidence, curiosity exploration and appropriate risk taking which leads to more self esteem in the world.

The late Maurice Sendak expressed this concept beautifully in his book “Where the Wild Things Are”. The little boy in the story left home, voyaged to a land where monsters threw a somewhat scary, yet fun party. But in the end he returns home to his own bed with dinner waiting.

For some of us, there was no loving gaze at that moment of our birth. Caretakers may not have been there or may have been inconsistently. Too little control and the child doesn’t know where home is. Too much control and curiosity and confidence are stifled. Of course, no one experiences perfect parenting. All of us had parents who were human beings first, before being our parents, with strengths and weaknesses. All of us were either abandoned at times and given too much freedom which led to trauma of some sort, or too tightly controlled or both. But for many of us it was “good enough” and so we ended up with “good enough” self esteem. Of course, more appropriate self worth is always good!

So if we did not develop enough unconditional love or want more what can we do? There are two ways we can cultivate Self Love :

1. Inner Child Work

2. Connection to Spirit

Inner Child Meditation:

All of us were children at one point so all of us have an inner child. This child lives in our sub conscious mind. It surprisingly easy to contact this child through an easy and simple meditation.

• · Sit or lay down.

• · Make sure your environment is safe, quiet and comfortable.

• · Take in several deep breaths. Rest your hand on your belly and feel your belly rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale.

• · Allow your eyes to close

• · Simply ask for your inner child to appear.  

You may speak out loud or just ask silently in your own mind. If you are not a particularly visual person, you may want a photo of yourself as a child that you can look at before you close your eyes. After a bit, images of yourself as a child. may appear or just one image. Or you may just have a feeling , a knowing that your inner child is there. Or you may hear her. It is possible that you may have no sense that your inner child is there. That’s fine. You will develop the ability to contact this part of yourself if you practice. But be assured that she is listening.

• · Talk to the inner child.  

Tell her that she is loved just as she is, she is precious and whole. She doesn’t have to do anything, or be anything to receive this love.
The inner child may be scared of you and run away and that’s fine. She may want to be near but not touched. She may not appear at all but she still hears you. She may want to listen for a while then run away. She may run into your arms. Whatever the inner child wants to do is fine. You are beginning a relationship and like any relationship trust takes a while.
 Of course, if the inner child tells you she wants to eat an entire chocolate cake or do anything destructive, it is the job of the adult self i.e. YOU to say no just like you would to your own child.

• Bring her into your heart and Listen Breathe into your physical heart and see there  there. Tell her she is now safe and that you are listening. Ask her if there is anything she wants or needs. Listen to what she says. She may send you message later...in dream or anytime you are quiet.

• · Close by thanking your inner child. Tell her you will be back. Thank yourself for taking the time to connect more deeply inside.

This meditation may take 5 min. or or as long as you would like. Personally, I take about 5-10min. every couple of days either in the morning before or I get up, or at night as I am falling asleep. It keeps me on an even keel, and feeling good.

It is very important to note that if you have had significant trauma, abuse, neglect as a child this may not be a safe or comfortable process. In that case, you NEED to contact a therapist to work with you on this so that you are not alone.


Your ability to connect with this child, improves as your practice. As your connection grows you will experience more and more unconditional love for self and others. You will find that you will naturally feel more peace and happiness, more playful, less judgemental of self and others. You will find you just have a innate feeling that the world is good, you are good and so is everyone else!

Make a commitment to only good things to yourself about yourself!
Sue Schmidt C.HT, CMT
www.healingmeditations.net
healingmeditations1@gmail.com

Next time.....Connect to Spirit!!

**Note: I have used the pronoun “she” because it is easier than he/she. Obviously, either could apply.

Full Moon May 25 2013

Full Moon May 25 2013, Moon in Sagittarius, 
The moon is as close to the earth as it ever gets and is in straight alignment with sun and earth. Anyone having trouble sleeping?
Minor eclipse late

Lokata Name: Moon of the Green Leaves
Let the moon shine in your eyes. Its good for you! And dance a little too.(:
Sue Schmidt
www.healingmeditations.net

Create and Embrace Authentic Self Esteem

Self worth, self esteem, confidence..these are all words we use to describe the feeling of being grounded and centered in who we are. This is a 3^rd chakra energy. When this energy is flowing and balanced we feel an expansion in our solar plexus and our feet on the earth. We feel like we can handle what life brings us gracefully.

Some people have an abundance of this expansive yet grounded energy. Some of us not enough and may experience self hatred.  Most of use feel pretty good about ourselves some days and not so good other days and this feeling is tied to what is externally going on at work, home and in our bodymind. 

How would it feel to be connected to our feeling  of intrinsic value no matter what is happening in the world? How can we change self loathing to self love?

There are 5 levels of Self Worth and each level has a corresponding action, attitude and/or meditation. These levels are:

1.Unconditional Self Love

2.Taking in Present Moment Worthiness

3.Taking in Past Worthiness

4.Creating Self Esteem through Right Action

5.Using your Own Yardstick 

1

.   

I am going to discuss these 5 levels and include a meditation for each in a few different blogs. Unconditional Self Love coming tomorrow. 

 Enjoy and think good thoughts about you,

Sue Schmidt C.HT, CMT
www.healingmeditations.com
healingmeditations1@gmail.com
(720) 890 7453

Healing Meditation: The Power of the Subconscious Mind to Heal

I was tired and distracted but really wanted to get my back deck in shape for summer. I was dragging furniture around, watering plants and definitely not being mindful. I stepped backwards onto an old glass window that covered a window well. The glass instantly shattered and my left leg plunged through the window. I fell to the deck and pulled my leg back out. Blood spurted in an arc and I saw a piece of glass sticking out of my leg below my left knee. I chanted my mantra, tried to breathe and called 911.

The medics were very kind and I was grateful for their patience, thoroughness and reassurance that I had done the right thing by calling them.


At the ER they didn't think much was wrong. The ER doc pulled out a small piece of glass protruding from my leg. I could still wiggle my toes, move my foot and could feel the ER doc's hand on my foot. But I felt something was very wrong. I was in a lot of pain and my calf was cramping intensely.

X Ray showed a 4 inch piece of glass embedded in my leg. It had entered below my knee and was protruding into my calf. I was told I would probably have to go to surgery. Luckily, I could still feel my foot and move my toes. I was so incredibly grateful for that.

A young Physician Assistant felt he could pull the glass from my leg. With some trepidation I told him to go ahead. I closed my eyes and said my mantra and surrendered. Occasionally, I would glance at him. He worked so carefully, with so much intention and focus. The nurses were nodding when they made eye contact with me and I felt reassured. He pulled the glass out with out damaging anything and all in one piece. So grateful! I wanted to hug him but settled on shaking his hand.

So home again...with instructions to take Percoset. It made me feel woozy and depressed and the leg still hurt like hell. I was worried about infection somewhat and had been told that was a concern.

The next morning, I listened to an MP3 I had created called Healing Meditation for my clients and website www.healingmeditations.net.
 I fell into a deep sleep after listening and when I awoke I felt so much better! Less pain, and I felt much clearer and stronger. I have listened to the program at least four more times and every time I feel better. No need for pain meds now!

The subconscious mind has vast power to heal our bodies and resolve trauma. If you are in pain or suffering from an illness, first go to your doctor. Then activate your innate healing power by listening to a Healing Meditation. There are lots out there on the internet. 
So grateful to the ER docs, medics and western medicine in general. So grateful I didn't damage anything permanently. So grateful that we all have such vast power in our subconscious to heal.Q

Be Well and Be Careful,
Sue Schmidt
healingmeditations1@gmail.com
(720) 890 7453
www.healingmeditations.net